Monday, June 3, 2013

Catalyst - The Passage of Hellsfire #1


For centuries, the kingdom of Alexandria has protected Northern Shala from the monstrous creatures lurking in the Wastelands. Now, a dark force threatens that fragile peace.

Far from home, Alexandria’s princess is abducted. When a young villager named Hellsfire stumbles upon her and her captors, he rushes in to rescue her, alone and unarmed. His fear and fury unleash an uncontrollable magical force that grants him the power to save the princess—and change the world.

Hellsfire has never craved nor dreamed of power. But such magic as he now possesses has not been seen in Northern Shala for a thousand years, since the devastation of the War of the Wizards and the creation of the Wastelands.

Now Hellsfire must leave all he’s ever known, and make a dangerous journey to learn to master this wild, ferocious power—power he knows he is not ready to wield. More difficult still, he needs to master his emotions. If he can’t, the power will consume him, Alexandria will fall, and darkness will eclipse the land, destroying everyone he loves.

In the dead of cold, the spark shall burn

My Review

For the book review, a fellow Frugal Momma, who is also a writer, read the book and this is her review.

I was excited to read this book based on the story line and if I am correct a new author. My excitement faded quickly though as I read the first few pages. The story seems good but there is too much wording that it makes reading it tedious. I feel the author was taking me by the hand and telling me what was happening instead of allowing me to see things for myself. Basically, show don't tell.

Here are a couple of examples.

In the second paragraph you describe the dress well enough to tell me that this character doesn't have a lot of money. Then you go on to talk about the elbows and cuffs of the dress are worn fabric. I thought this was a wonderful description! I also know from telling me the main characters job is doing heavy labor is another way of showing me the characters are poor yet in another paragraph you state that they are poor. Another example is, "I sighed and bit the inside of my lip." That line shows me that the character is uncomfortable. The next line is totally unnecessary.

I am a little confused as to why am devout religious person would name their child "hellfire" but maybe that is told in the book.

I don't know if this book is published or a work in progress. If it is a work in progress and you take suggestions from other readers and rewrite I would love to read it. If it is published I would love to read your next project.

As a fellow writer I understand the frustration of peoples opinions but I've been told myself that my first chapter of one of my projects was telling not showing. I think sometimes we are too close to see it. Once I was told this I seen it and rewrote the first and many other chapters.

Thank you for allowing me to review.

Thank you to the author for allowing me to receive a pdf of the book for the review.


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